Being your call girl

Sometimes I fantasize being (and think that I am) your call girl. A wind up doll. The less you communicate with me the more I feel like an appointment in your diary. With no name just last name initial E. Every 4 to 6 weeks, a booking, an entry. 2-8 hours. Like your client meeting or sales proposal presentation. Except you are the client, my client, my only client.

Before you see me I ask if you have special demand:

What kind of clothes you want me to wear...
what kind of look I should sport...
Are you in a talkative mood or are you simply looking for some peace and quiet?
If it's former, Is there a particular subject you'd be interested in discussing?
If it's the later, should I be as usual, be quiet until you give me the permission to speak? I will be you body pillow, soft, sensual but a pillow nonetheless.

You usually tell me if you have special requirements. How to dress and whether I should wear underwear. But lately you have not requested anything and I'm a little puzzled. I prefer lunch appointments. In and out, quick but satisfying. But lately you've taken me out to dinner, to feed me. We have proper dates. I also sensed that you have developed feelings for me. Feelings clients should not develop for their call girls. I feel too and that scares me. Thankfully, I see you less now. intensity wears off in a couple of weeks. I learned. 

I suspect that you may have another call girl that you see now, someone to provide a different type of needs, or you may be too busy, or maybe I have become stale - it's time for an image overhaul I think. I don't care about your other hobbies. I am not jealous - I wish that I could but that requires real emotions and I prefer to think that I have none. I am never possessive, I never had a grown up relationship you see. Our relationship is the closest one I have ever shared with anyone. I want to ask you about rules. I have sensed that there are some, but I want to know that all so that I could obey. I know that I can't call outside of the day when we are meeting. Everything must be prearranged. I want to keep you as my client. Like you, I have a diary and I mark you simply as B.  You are my semi-regular.

When I see you I become whatever and whomever you want me to be, and I please you the way you want to be pleased. I aim to serve and satisfy you. It's my job. But lately I begin to enjoy more than I should.

When you leave me I go into dormant stage - even though I think about you lots. I move onto other things that do not involve you. I imagine one day we'd cross path outside of our arrangement. I wonder if you'd recognize me. I wonder if I should walk up to say hi. I wonder if you’d call me by my real name.

Sometimes I think being your call girl is not bad. I need to add a quality control process. I want to get an evaluation from you. I want to have an improvement plan in place. Because I take my job seriously and this is a job I enjoy.

I think it’ll be grand if I could be on my knees, for 1 to 2 hours, naked, serving you. That’s what I like to do, because I’m a masochist. I like being submissive, I like serving man, I like being fed of your cock, I like swallowing. That’s the reason I exist, in this world of a call girl, I put emotions away, tucked all the way in the back shelf, and I do my job. And that’s all there is. I can’t deal with emotions. It hurts like hell. It does not belong to someone like me.