I didn't know what happened, but perhaps, time, happened

My darling, if you were to be away, then be away for the holidays. I’d like to think that you are far away, in the tropics – wait, I knew you were going to be in the middle of the land but let me picture you in the tropics instead, with your loved ones and you were playing in the sand, by the white beach, building a sand castle, your hand in dirt, your hair curly, long and wavy and you’d be all smiles.

I’d miss you but I’d be happy, because you were happy. And if I should love you until the day I die, let me be happy for you when you are happy.

I imagined my love for you would fade one day, my longing for you would dissipate as time went on, but I still loved you the way I first discovered that I loved you. It was just after spring break, I had somehow seen you playing a song and the song was titled “I know you are married but I still love you.” I had never felt that tuck as I did that day, I started crying and I couldn’t stop. I didn’t know what came over me, but I knew my feelings for you were real, deep and unfathomable.

Since then I have thought that I could terminate the feelings I had for you, or move onto others, but I never could. I didn’t realize that I had it in me, I had it in me to stay faithful, loyal and loving for someone I had nothing more than just that instinct, the instinct of being attracted to and not ever had to wonder why.

So from then on my relationship with you evolved.  I didn't know what happened, but perhaps, time, happened. Time, and the endurance of natural progression of a relationship.There were ups and there were downs, but I knew that you had become part of me.

So a year later, I looked back, and I knew for certain, I loved you.

I couldn't tell how to go from here to there, but I knew, I wanted to be there at the end.

I was, I am, and I will always be, part of you, from now until the end.