Lust, Love and Friendship

Saw this on a posting before: "She will chase you around for a while; but there's going to be a day when she's gonna stop running in circles around you. She's gonna get over you & at that very moment you're going to wish you had let her catch you", something from a friend of mine's Facebook. I guess lots of people like it. 

Is that something? We all look for love, but often we found lust instead. If we are lucky, we may find friendship along the way, but most time, who are we kidding? It's just lust disguising as friendship, because for some reason, when sex is involved, things get complicated.  So you either start with friendship, when you know you were just lusting after that person, or you retreat back to friendship, because you know friendship might be less complicated and you don't want to get hurt. 

When lust gets in the way, we may run into that really ugly thing called obsession. It is at that point we get ourselves all tangled up in something that will destroy whatever we had.  

I might have convinced myself that I had been in love a few times. But I am not convinced those were love. In love is a bit of a hard business to get into. Sometimes I wonder if I could be in love, technically, my DNA make up might not allow me to be in love. I was abused and it’s difficult to trust people. Theoretically, love is when you have someone who loves you for who you are. He accepts me for who I am.  He shares with you the intimate life he has with you. Yu feel the trust in that person and you are completely safe with him. He is your soul mate.

I've lusted over many. But most of them I don't remember their names. They all share the same type of physique. My kind is very predictable. Tall, dark and handsome often from Scandinavian countries, or blonde / green / blue eyes Germanic guys. They must have gone to one of the east coast schools.

I've only been obsessed twice. Completely opposite end of the spectrum.  One is tall, dark, handsome, older (much older), East Coast type, calm and mysterious, the other Germanic, blond, and manic. 

I've formed friendship with men. Though few last. I could only count with one hand of the men who have become my friends over the years. It's difficult to have these friendship with men, because, let's face it, men don't just want to be friends with women. They typically have some form of sexual attraction with a woman and for whatever reason they ended up with being "friends" with them. I don't like men in general, because it's hard to feel safe around them, for I don't believe that friendship can be formed in a pure sense of friendship.

When lust fails to materialize or sustain for whatever reason, people may explore friendship.

Yeah, that ugly, never-meant-to-last, awkward stage of "friendship" is where we often land. It was probably the best compromise - and it's a stage that I am most comfortable with.  When one is not ready to say goodbye to those strong emotions but one knows better not to proceed because the clear traffic stop light ahead.  So "friends" is where we often land. That interim stage resulted from failed love, lust or obsession. That limbo stage, waiting for something to happen.