Midlife Crisis - Take 2

Claudia was 37 when she realized that she was missing that something in her life. That something was a child. She liked her life, her husband, her career as a portfolio manager, she was a rising star at her firm. But she had no children.

George was 44. He lived in the east coast, in Boston, to be exact. He had gone to school in Cambridge, MA and settled down there, married with three kids. He was Catholic, and married a gal he met through an online dating site, she at the time worked in New York, and George was working on the Wall Street. He called her Jess, she was a proper stay at home mom type. She was two years junior to George. They moved back to Boston after George got a transfer, to be closer to his parents. Jess went with him, leaving her aging parents behind in New York, and they built a nice house by the water. It was the perfect setting. George was successful, Jess was happy, raising their children.

Claudia met George years ago on a business trip in Chicago. They had a one night stand, which led to two nights, and then three nights, then two years. It was a long distance non-exclusive relationship, George and Claudia never talked about a future, until Claudia announced that she was to get married to her boyfriend back home in San Francisco.  Up until then George knew nothing about Claudia's other life, nor did he expect her to have a real proper boyfriend. George thought Claudia was the unmarriable type. She was a social butterfly, who flew from flower to flower but never wanted to settle down.

George was wrong.

Claudia got married when she was in her late 20s to her husband, a fellow investment manager. They decided to wait to start a family, the wait lasted 8 years and she was still childless.

Claudia began to wonder if she was meant to be a mother. She sent an email to George. Said she wanted to talk.

George called her right back. They talked for hours. George asked her why she never visited him, even though she's been to her Boston office a half dozen of times since they said official goodbyes.

Claudia told George that she thought that they didn't have much to say to each other.

George said "I guess you were right, but I know you are well and you seem to have a very happy life with your hubby."

Claudia said "Yes just like yours."

Claudia went to Boston for a firmwide offsite.

George met her up at the hotel lobby / cafe for a night cap.

George said to Claudia, "You have not changed. Why did we break up again?"

Claudia thought to herself, "Because you thought I was unmarriable." But instead, she said, "Oh you know, we lived apart."

At the end of the meeting George hugged Claudia, "Don't be a stranger." He said. When they embraced, Claudia found herself reverting back to how she was when was in her early 20s.  That feeling of familiarity and unexplainable sense of trust never went away.

On the way back to the airport, Claudia got a text message from George, "The next time you are in Boston, give me an advance notice."

Claudia realized that was George's way of saying that he wanted something more. More than a cup of coffee at the hotel lobby.

The next trip took six months to plan. Claudia planned a weekend in Boston in addition to her usual three day business trip. Her husband was in Asia on a sales conference. George and she met at the hotel lobby.

They didn't stay there long.

By the time their clothes were off in the hotel room, Claudia had not felt this liberated since she was a single woman.  She wanted George as she did before, and it was as if they never parted.

Soon Claudia started to email George frequently. George told her that he'd never leave her family, but a woman like Claudia was hard to resist, he said that he'd never stepped out of his marriage before, though there were always temptations. But Claudia was different. She was not someone new. She was someone who was a lover once to George, for that he was feeling not at all guilty, despite the fact he thought he should.

Claudia fantasized about having a baby with George. They'd make a wonderful couple, a beautiful, smart baby with big brown eyes and curly brown hair, they baby would be a perfect combo of two beautiful, smart people. The world needed smart babies, Claudia convinced herself.

But George told her that he couldn't have children any more. he was done, and he didn't want to reverse the decision.

Claudia understood. They would stay together as long as she didn't demand a child from George.

Three years passed. Claudia turned 40 in the spring and George was 47 by the time September rolled around.

They saw each other every six months. They fell asleep in each others' arms. They told each other how much they missed each other, and reminisced the trips they took, the dates they had, and how they felt about each other when they were together. They appeared to only remembered the good times. Not when Claudia called and cried over the phone, not when he coldly dismissed her plead of wanting to get back together. Instead, George would ask - "Why did we break up? Why?"  Occasionally George would say to her, "I'm glad that we are back together."

Claudia never asked him what he meant by "back together," though she wondered from time to time.

George took great pride in being a supportive father and husband. He never told her that he had issues with his wife Jess. Claudia believed George was happily married.

Neither one of them felt that they were cheating. It felt natural to be back together in a non committed way.

Claudia stopped fantasizing about having a child.  She also stopped feeling antsy about her marriage.

Marriage would continue as it was. George's marriage would continue as it was also.

But just like the movie, "Same time next year", they believed that their lives would go on with each other in it.

They kept each others' emotions in check. They vowed to never do anything irrational. They vowed to love each other, like they once did, but never asked each other to change their current arrangement.

They believed that this was a mature way to handle things.

They cared and respected each other. They loved each other. They felt belonged together. Every six months they met and they got physically intimate, as if it was their way of renewing their vows of being together.

We wish them luck.