What if

This is not a poem, this is just a stream of consciousness...

What if I loved you
What if I loved you as I never did
with another

What if you put junior to sleep
opened your book to read
and thought of me

What if you woke up in the middle of the night
couldn't fall back to sleep
and thought of me

And at that precise moment
I felt you
I could feel you, you know

When you opened your book
When you woke up in the middle of the night
I stopped reading
I woke up too
I was wired that way, you know

I had always loved you
this way, always
I knew
I just knew

But it would be ludicrous
irrational
unconventional
illogical

You denied me
often
frequently
knowingly

But you knew I loved you
So there
we had settled it

I thought you liked to think of me
this person with tears streaming down
because you wouldn't reply
because I was denied
of your affection

Or you didn't think of me at all
what if you never did

What if
I just made this all up
in my head
you loved me too