A sad woman who had always thought that by being submissive, generous, giving, forgiving, and loving, the person she thought she loved, would love her back.
That's a story that would result a sad ending.
It was a formula that never could have worked.
A sad woman who was otherwise successful, happy, funny, and had done so much for herself despite her difficult circumstance, and who was loved by many, and cared by many, and had been lost forever in her own sorrows, and had been vulnerable because she had finally let herself be that person, got hurt, by someone who really did not give a damn about her, or cared about her or felt any needs to comfort her.
Did she deserve to be treated by someone who was so heartless and used her and lied to her constantly?
I think the answer is simple. She let herself fall into the trap. She lacks certain self awareness. The person deceived her. Never cared about her. Said things to make her to go back to him after months of absence all the time. Cancelled on her, never talked to her on the phone, never cared about her, just wanted her to have sex with him, but also wanted her to have emotional connection with him. That's twisted, sick and hurtful.
Now what did she learn?
I don't think she had learned anything right now. But she should learn the following:
Don't fall in love with a mass manipulator whose only purpose in life is to serve his own needs at the expense of hurting the one person who loves him unconditionally. Who derives pleasure in hurting a woman who should never let her into his life. And if a man tells her that he loved her but then disappeared the moment he said that, know that he lied and she should leave immediately. Don't make excuse for his mistreatment of her. Don't talk herself into believing anything he says. Don't become sexually dependent on someone who's pure purpose was to hurt and deceive her. Don't expect that by being a good, decent, loving, caring person, this person would respect her and like her more. This person will only take advantage of her, and pretend he cared about her until he was bored.
Friends say - "Congratulations. Now cry. So proud of you." Every single one of them who knows about this relationship say the exact same thing. Men, and women. No one disliked him because this woman is married and is carrying on an affair. Friends say - "As long as you are happy." As long as he treats you well.
Friends got upset by watching this woman deduced into a sad sack of mess. Someone who was in denial of her own happiness. Her devastation will end. Her heart will heal. It's one thing to heal from a love interrupted by circumstance. It's another to heal from loving someone who never gave a shit about her and lied and fucked with her head for whatever twisted reason he had in his head. Someone who never loved her but claimed that he did. Deception was perhaps the best thing that happened to this relationship. A man who never loved her but pretended that he did to get his rocks off. A man who never even had the decency to have an adult conversation after knowing the girl he supposed to "love" was devastated. A man cowardly disappeared when things were not going well.
That's how you move on I suppose. You move on by knowing that your love was never returned. You move on by knowing you had fallen for an indecent man who used and played you. You move on by knowing the man never loved you and never will.
Unfulfilled promises and misplaced trust. A beautiful dream gone. But the woman's heart is still there, beating, hopeful, and perhaps in the end she will find love, and be loved by a man who loves her back.
So there, a new beginning. A new hopeful beginning.
A beginning that does not involve this man, who was really just in the business of luring weak, vulnerable women into his world and then watch them crumble by hurting them in whichever way he could.
She's been kind, loving, giving, vulnerable, caring and generous. She's been open minded and hopeful. She has been the way she ought to be if she's in love. In the end, she loved him unconditionally.
And there is no lesson to be learned from that. Perhaps the best thing that came out of this is to know that nothing he said or she felt had any reality to it. It was just a show. And now the show has ended. Curtain is closed. And fellows, we must exit the theatre, stage left, and if you don't like the ending, go ahead and cry on your own.
This is a real story that does not contain a Hollywood ending. This is about a vulnerable woman who believed that love would conquer it all, but instead, her lover's entire purpose was to hurt her, lie to her and in the end, watch her crumble, cry and pretend a year plus long relationship never existed, and a fifteen year long friendship meant nothing. he had disappeared. Not a word. Not one single word. Not even to have the common courtesy to say goodbye like two adults. He had moved on. And she never mattered. That, my dear reader, is a cautionary tale on love.
That's a story that would result a sad ending.
It was a formula that never could have worked.
A sad woman who was otherwise successful, happy, funny, and had done so much for herself despite her difficult circumstance, and who was loved by many, and cared by many, and had been lost forever in her own sorrows, and had been vulnerable because she had finally let herself be that person, got hurt, by someone who really did not give a damn about her, or cared about her or felt any needs to comfort her.
Did she deserve to be treated by someone who was so heartless and used her and lied to her constantly?
I think the answer is simple. She let herself fall into the trap. She lacks certain self awareness. The person deceived her. Never cared about her. Said things to make her to go back to him after months of absence all the time. Cancelled on her, never talked to her on the phone, never cared about her, just wanted her to have sex with him, but also wanted her to have emotional connection with him. That's twisted, sick and hurtful.
Now what did she learn?
I don't think she had learned anything right now. But she should learn the following:
Don't fall in love with a mass manipulator whose only purpose in life is to serve his own needs at the expense of hurting the one person who loves him unconditionally. Who derives pleasure in hurting a woman who should never let her into his life. And if a man tells her that he loved her but then disappeared the moment he said that, know that he lied and she should leave immediately. Don't make excuse for his mistreatment of her. Don't talk herself into believing anything he says. Don't become sexually dependent on someone who's pure purpose was to hurt and deceive her. Don't expect that by being a good, decent, loving, caring person, this person would respect her and like her more. This person will only take advantage of her, and pretend he cared about her until he was bored.
Friends say - "Congratulations. Now cry. So proud of you." Every single one of them who knows about this relationship say the exact same thing. Men, and women. No one disliked him because this woman is married and is carrying on an affair. Friends say - "As long as you are happy." As long as he treats you well.
Friends got upset by watching this woman deduced into a sad sack of mess. Someone who was in denial of her own happiness. Her devastation will end. Her heart will heal. It's one thing to heal from a love interrupted by circumstance. It's another to heal from loving someone who never gave a shit about her and lied and fucked with her head for whatever twisted reason he had in his head. Someone who never loved her but claimed that he did. Deception was perhaps the best thing that happened to this relationship. A man who never loved her but pretended that he did to get his rocks off. A man who never even had the decency to have an adult conversation after knowing the girl he supposed to "love" was devastated. A man cowardly disappeared when things were not going well.
That's how you move on I suppose. You move on by knowing that your love was never returned. You move on by knowing you had fallen for an indecent man who used and played you. You move on by knowing the man never loved you and never will.
Unfulfilled promises and misplaced trust. A beautiful dream gone. But the woman's heart is still there, beating, hopeful, and perhaps in the end she will find love, and be loved by a man who loves her back.
So there, a new beginning. A new hopeful beginning.
A beginning that does not involve this man, who was really just in the business of luring weak, vulnerable women into his world and then watch them crumble by hurting them in whichever way he could.
She's been kind, loving, giving, vulnerable, caring and generous. She's been open minded and hopeful. She has been the way she ought to be if she's in love. In the end, she loved him unconditionally.
And there is no lesson to be learned from that. Perhaps the best thing that came out of this is to know that nothing he said or she felt had any reality to it. It was just a show. And now the show has ended. Curtain is closed. And fellows, we must exit the theatre, stage left, and if you don't like the ending, go ahead and cry on your own.
This is a real story that does not contain a Hollywood ending. This is about a vulnerable woman who believed that love would conquer it all, but instead, her lover's entire purpose was to hurt her, lie to her and in the end, watch her crumble, cry and pretend a year plus long relationship never existed, and a fifteen year long friendship meant nothing. he had disappeared. Not a word. Not one single word. Not even to have the common courtesy to say goodbye like two adults. He had moved on. And she never mattered. That, my dear reader, is a cautionary tale on love.
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