Sunday, March 24, 2013

Piss off, seriously

Got a few more angry texts from some guy whom I allegedly stood up. First of all, if I did tell him to come and pick me up at a bar, I had completely forgotten. Forgive me but I have no brain cell to remember anything since last four weeks as I'm dealing with a break up.

Then I did not respond, of course that just pissed him off even more. He sent a few more texts which I refused to respond. I deleted his contact info. I do not do crazies well. I need people to chill but responsive.

Went out and ran a lot of and then came back to the Marina for dinner. Bought a fab French dress. I was looking and feeling good.

Went out again for food with someone else and then to a party.

Have decided to try cognitive behavior self-therapy. Going to stop me from thinking about him.

I dreamed of his orange car parked by a cliff, and I was worried about running into him.

My conscious mind tends to wander to him, wander why he has not contacted me, wander if he would ever choose to directly contact me, wander if he would remember me eventually, wander if he ever cared about me, wander if he was there really, wander if he meant what he said, wander if he was lying the whole time, wander if he felt anything for me.

But then I stop. I stop all together. I don't want any association with him. I deleted his contact info from my phone too. I deleted our text messages. I deleted everything about him.

I never wanted to talk to him again or see him again or want have anything to do with him again.

I never wanted to know anything about him ever again.

He no longer exists in my world. And while a year ago I said that I wanted to break up with him and I couldn't pull the trigger, now I did, and I have and I will always stay on my ground.

He's a self center inconsiderate control freak.

I had no business getting involved with him.

A man like that, if he existed today and is in my obit, I'd be saying, piss off.

No one deserves to be treated with so little respect,  you'd have to be a cheap whore living on the street to put up with that kind of bullshit.

Not a successful, smart, attractive, business woman who is adored by many and loved by many and - does not need any money from anyone. A financially independent attractive smart business woman who has everything people envy.

Not this one. I'm not a wall flower any more. I shall be strong, take care of myself, and tell any man who wants anything to do with me, to either treat me well, or piss off, really, seriously.

Just piss off. 

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